Fiction – Twalker

I watch you. You don’t realise, but I see everything. I lurk in the shadows, just one among the many. I devour your conversations. I save your pictures. I spend hours thinking, plotting, putting two and two together. And I’m getting closer.

You don’t realise the effect your throwaway remarks have on me. How could you? I’m just a faceless name amongst your thousands of followers.

I hate your easy exhibitionism. The way you preen, flirt, joke and tease.

I touch myself.

Erotic Memories – The Happy Hooker

I was a very late developer as a teenager, painfully shy around boys, gawky and awkward. Whilst my classmates were busy drinking and snogging under motorway bridges, my close-knit group of geeky fellow virgins and I would play board games and jealously gossip about what they might be getting up to.

That doesn’t mean we weren’t interested in sex – far from it. We’d giggle our way through my friend M’s collection of porn films, muting the dialogue and making up our own. M, who “of course” later turned out to be gay, had a marvellous selection of erotic and pornographic material, from videos to magazines and books, which he would furnish the rest of us with occasionally like a celibate pimp.

My parents were very liberal, and I had received a pretty good sex education from them, but I was consumed by teenage hormones and wanted more. I therefore devoured most things on their bookshelves in the vain hope that some of the adult novels might contain racier passages.

Sadly, it seemed that my mother had not succumbed to the lure of the 80s bonkbuster, so I never read things like Riders or Lace, but instead had to make do with reading and re-reading things like passages from John Fowles’ “The Magus“, or the chapter on Sex in Desmond Morris’s “The Naked Ape“. These works tended to focus either very much on the romantic or the biological side of sex, and didn’t really teach me anything new.

One day, however, M lent me a book that really opened my eyes. It was The Happy Hooker, by Xaviera Hollander (not to be confused with the book about crochet with the same name!).

Written in the early 1970s, it was the memoir of a Dutch secretary who moved to New York in the swinging 60s and worked her way up various brothels to become one of the best known madams in the city, and it was certainly a revelation to me.

In it I read about lesbianism, bondage, spanking, golden showers, swinging and even a famous passage involving a German shepherd…I read it and re-read it, marvelling at the obvious uninhibited enjoyment of sex that clearly came across in all the anecdotes, and yes, I masturbated furiously to it.

(Reading various reviews of it now, the main thing that stands out is that apparently it’s badly written, but that actually the sex stands the test of time.)

Of course, eventually I had to give M his copy back, well-thumbed, and hopefully not too sticky… (I wonder if he ever disinfected it before and after lending it to others?!). I didn’t think of it again until I came across an audio cassette version a few years later, read by Ms Hollander herself.

I found that cassette again at the back of a cupboard over the weekend, in what was my “original” sex toy box.

I don’t suppose anyone out there still has a tape deck?

HappyHooker

Fiction – Serenity, part 3

Find part 1 here

Find part 2 here

___

As Dave ran his finger gently over the crease between her shoe and her foot, Serenity cried out in pain. It felt to her as though his finger was a scalpel, cutting further into the wound of her bleeding foot.

“Oh God, sorry.”

He blushed.

“Let me kiss it better”.

Bending over, he brushed his lips over the arch of her foot. Serenity held her breath. The pain was still there, but there was something soothing about the way his lips caressed her tender skin, and she started to relax ever so slightly.

“Better?” he mumbled, not taking his mouth away from her foot. “A bit”, she responded, slightly distracted by the sensation of his warm breath on her skin.

For the first time since coming home on Friday night, Serenity started to forget a little about the pain in her foot and feel more herself. She took the opportunity to survey the back of Dave’s head properly for the first time. He was good-looking, of that there was no doubt. Not her normal type though. He had the physique of a cyclist – tall, lean and  muscular, and a friendly, open, slightly weather-beaten face under sun-bleached hair that seemed contrary to the normal pallor of most other night-owl barmen she knew.

Serenity shifted slightly on the couch, running her eyes down his back, to where his t-shirt met his belted jeans. The movement caused her robe to open slightly, revealing more thigh, but she resisted the automatic reflex to close it again.

Sensing the movement, Dave looked up quizzically. “Do I need to kiss the rest of your legs better too?” he smirked. She giggled. “Well, it might take my mind off my feet…”

Dave grabbed a calf in each hand and kissed her knees playfully. “Here? And here….and here….and, oh, and here?” With that he moved slowly and surely up the inside of her left thigh, stopping only to glance up at Serenity’s face and make a mental note of the hardening outline of her nipples under her robe.

The goosebumps on her legs followed his progress further up her thighs as sticky juices seeped from her pussy in anticipation of where his mouth was heading. As he reached the edge of her robe, he snapped at it playfully and looked her directly in the eyes for the first time.

His eyes flashed at her, a deep, dark blue. Yes, they were friendly and open, but she also saw a hunger and an intensity in them that she realised she had not seen in anyone for a long time. The look was both provocative and searching, and she knew instantly what it meant.

Almost involuntarily she parted her legs slightly wider, causing the robe to fall open and expose her glistening cunt to his gaze.

“Good girl”, he whispered.

Her lips parted and her breathing grew heavier as she could no longer hide her arousal.

“But you’re not really a good girl, are you Serenity?” he continued in the same, soothing tone, “you’re a very bad girl, aren’t you? I watch you, you know. Watch the way you flirt outrageously with any man that takes your fancy. I watch the way you use your body to lure them into your little trap. Then you devour them and spit them out, don’t you?”

She nodded silently. His tone changed.

“Slut.”

A wave of emotion washed over Serenity at that moment. Her heart pounded faster, and her lips formed into a smile of relief. Finally somebody had dared say it to her face. She felt…recognised?…in a way she had never experienced before. It simultaneously calmed and emboldened her, as the balance of power seemed to have palpably shifted.

She nodded again.

She didn’t expect his next move, which was to take his middle finger and plunge it deep into her dripping pussy. She held her breath and awaited his approval, which he gave with a curt nod, and the addition of a second finger. As he proceeded to rub his thumb over her pulsating clit, she realised she was almost forgetting about the pain in her feet. Almost, but not quite.

“You’re holding back”, he stated calmly.

“It’s…my feet” she groaned, the strangest mix of pain and pleasure causing her to shiver.

He continued to rub her clit, but looked thoughtful.  “There’s nothing I’d like better than to bury my face in your cunt and lick you until to scream my name. I don’t think that’s what you need though. You’re obviously still being punished, and I think we need to make sure that punishment is seen through to the end, don’t you?”

Still apparently lost for words, Serenity simply nodded for a third time.

“Turn over”

Fear and anticipation began to rise inside her. As Dave showed no sign of removing his fingers from between her legs, she rolled over awkwardly, as best she could. She was glad her face was pushed into the cushions of the settee, as it meant she could hide the rising redness in her cheeks.

Dave lifted up her legs and slid himself onto the sofa underneath them, pushing her robe further up her back and exposing her backside fully.

“Do your feet still hurt?”

She muffled an affirmative, as he withdrew his fingers from her cunt, and placed his hand gently on her bottom, running it speculatively over her cheeks and upper thighs.

The combination of the slight suffocating effect of the cushions, and the tightening of her chest with expectation meant her breathing grew shallower and more urgent.

Dave’s soothing tone came back. “Sssshhh…it’s ok”. His hands continued to run over her backside, tracking the swell and curves of her body with each finger in turn, then gently fanning her cheeks with his palm. Slowly, and gently he replenished his fingers with the natural lubrication of her pussy, before testing the skin of her anus with his index finger.

She tensed, waiting for the intrusion, but it didn’t come. Instead, he lifted his palm and slapped it down tentatively on her right buttock, causing her to pant with the same rhythm. When no protest came, he smacked his palm down harder, once, then twice in quick succession.

Serenity had never felt such helplessness. She knew she could tell him to stop at any point, but her body seemed unable to make her actually do so. It was as though her will had dislocated itself from her brain, and something primal had taken over. All she wanted was for the pain to stop, and yet, all she wanted was for him to carry on.

The slight stinging on her right buttock left behind a tingly heat as he turned his attention to the left one, again smacking his palm down hard three times in quick succession.

Once he had finished the spanking, he waited, gazing at the red marks on her dark skin with satisfaction.

Now, finally, with all her concentration on the pain on her behind, the pain in her feet drifted out of her mind, and she suddenly found she could no longer hold herself together. Her body convulsed, and tears started to stream down her face. Dave pulled her up and towards him, gathering her in his arms, and holding her tight as he waited for the roller-coaster of emotions to leave her body.

They sat there like that for what seemed like an eternity, neither of them speaking, until finally she kicked off her shoes and held him closer.

THE END.

Fiction – Serenity, part 2

Find part 1 here

____

Serenity slept fitfully, true to her usual habits. Visions of faceless men drifted into her subconscious. Men that made her want to run, simultaneously towards them and away from them. She didn’t know in which direction, she just knew she had to run. She was running so much that her feet were hurting. Her feet really hurt.

Oh God, she had to stop running.

It took her a moment to fully come to and realise that the pain in her feet was real and was what had woken her. She rolled over carefully and looked down at herself, still naked except for the patent stilettos that now seemed to be almost a part of her own limbs.

Her mind drifted back to what had happened in the bar. What had the voice said? “Your precious heels will remind you of me and the pain you caused me, until you understand” She was still no closer to recognising the voice. The voice – the man – had seemed to know her though. Had she slept with him? The implication was there. It was true that she had had her fair share of one-night stands over the last 18 months or so, but she was sure she had never misled anyone about her intentions. She certainly didn’t remember deliberately causing anybody any pain.

Serenity spent most of the day in bed, only getting up for a cup of coffee around midday, and the occasional trip to the bathroom. She responded to her friends’ phonecalls with a curt text that only seemed to make them more worried, and their calls more urgent. She ignored them all, watched a little TV, downed half a bottle of vodka and went back to bed, where once again she had the same dreams of faceless men and searing pain.

It was a persistent knocking that woke her on the following day, a Sunday. Serenity buried her head under her pillow in the hope she wouldn’t have to answer, and willed them to go away.

The knocking didn’t stop, and a man’s voice called her name.

“Serenity? I know you’re in there. Answer the door. It’s Dave. From the bar?”

Serenity sat up. Dave? What the hell was he doing there, and, more to the point, how had he got her address?

As it became clear that he was not going anywhere, Serenity reluctantly got out of bed and limped her way to the door, throwing on a robe to half-cover her nakedness on the way. At the door she paused for a moment to try and overcome the searing pain that was still coming from her feet, and gather her thoughts.

“Dave?” she called through the door.”What are you doing here?”

“I bumped into Helen this morning. She told me she was worried about you, so I offered to stop by and check you were ok. She says you’re not answering your phone.”

Serenity hesitated.

“It’s ok, Dave… I’m…ok. Tell her not to worry about me.”

“You don’t really sound ok, Serenity. Can I come in?”

The tone of his voice told her that there was no way she was going to get rid of him easily. It seemed she had no choice but to let him in.

The Serenity that greeted Dave did not look like the Serenity he knew, or was used to seeing in the bar. That Serenity was vibrant, full of life, the centre of attention. The woman who stood in front of him looked smaller and more subdued. Her chocolate skin had a strange ashy grey quality about it, and her lips were pale and cracked. In his shock, he barely even registered that she only appeared to be wearing a jersey robe, half open down to her waist, only just clinging on to her modesty.

His surprise must have been obvious, for Serenity smiled ruefully. “Sorry, I’ve not got my face on. Come in.”

As she turned and led the way to the kitchen, he noticed that she appeared to be wearing the same heels she had worn the last time he had seen her on the previous Friday. The outline of her shapely arse was visible through the thin cloth of her dressing gown, and his groin twitched involuntarily with the effect her appearance always had on him.

It was obvious that she was limping, and he didn’t understand why she was still wearing the fierce-looking stilettos. They didn’t look comfortable at all.

“Coffee?”

“Yes please. But let me make it, you don’t look too good.”

Serenity leaned gratefully against the kitchen counter and pointed out where things were, taking the opportunity to take the weight off her throbbing feet.

“If you don’t mind me asking”, Dave finally said, “do you always wear your highest heels around the house?”

He was not prepared for the reaction this question prompted, which was that Serenity suddenly burst into floods of big, gut-wrenching sobs. He caught her as she half-crumpled, and carried her into the little living room, placing her gently on the sofa, and holding her somewhat awkwardly.

“Shhhh…it’s ok…it’s ok….”

He waited patiently for the sobs to subside, merely repeating gentle affirmations and stroking the side of her face with the lightest of touches.

When she was finally ready to look at him, the whole story poured out of her. The bar, the nightclub, the strange voice, and how she was now unable to remove her shoes, with the associated pain. Once she had finished, he moved down towards her foot, picking it up gently again.

Other than the traces of dried blood that she had obviously tried to wash off, the foot and the shoe looked normal to him. Pulling gently, however, he soon realised that what she had told him was true. There was no chance that her foot and her shoe were parting ways any time soon.

____

TO BE CONTINUED

Fiction – Serenity, part 1

There is often a certain amount of pain involved in wearing new shoes – especially high heels. It’s not necessarily a given that the higher the heel, the greater the pain, but as rules go, it seemed like a good one to our heroine at the particular moment in time in which we are about to join her.

“Fuck”, exclaimed Serenity, as she scrabbled around furiously in her bathroom cabinet trying to locate a plaster for her wounded heel. Her name had been a massive case of wishful thinking on the part of her parents, for serene was probably the least likely term that would ever be used to describe her, and she certainly wasn’t serene now.

Serenity was a bundle of energy, from the wild afro of her hair, through each sinew and curve of her voluptuous body, down to her fingertips, which permanently seemed to be tapping out the internal rhythms of her life. Even in her sleep she thrashed furiously, a seemingly permanent ball of pent-up nervous energy.

“Late. Late. Late…Fuck…. Ah, gotcha.”

With that, she slapped a plaster on her heel, grabbed her bag and keys and headed out of the door to meet her girlfriends for drinks.

Her friends were, naturally, all waiting for her when she arrived, hobbling slightly and breathless. “I know, I know” she waved vaguely and headed straight for the bar.

She was so out of breath and focused on getting her drinks that she hardly noticed the guy next to her at the bar waiting to be served. “Dave! Four tequila slammers please” she shouted at the barman, leaning forward to reward him with a glimpse of her ample cleavage.

She also didn’t hear her bar neighbour mutter a hearfelt “BITCH” under his breath, or feel his eyes bore into her back. What she did feel was her feet twitch slightly, something that she vaguely put down to their newness.

She paid Dave and carefully carried the slammers back to the table where her three friends were sitting.

“Fuck, I need this. Cheers ladies”.

Serenity knocked back her slammer and smiled ruefully. “Bugger. Should have ordered a few more, shouldn’t I?” Helen, seated to her right smiled “Just ask Dave to bring a few over. You know he’d do anything for you, right? Just flash your knickers at him or something. Assuming you are wearing any, of course?”

“You know my thoughts on underwear”, answered Serenity. “Only worth bothering with in the bedroom and to be taken off for special occasions”. She grinned at her friend and smoothed down her skirt. “So, are we going dancing tonight, or what?”

Two tequila slammers later and Serenity and her friends headed down the road to “T’s”, where the first name terms they were on with the door staff enabled them to jump the growing queue.

“Fucking bitch” growled the man from the bar as the girls sailed past him again, completely oblivious to his presence once more.

Inside, the noise, music and lighting exhilirated Serenity. She never felt more alive that when the beats filled her up from the inside and she could really let herself go on the dancefloor. This time, however, her feet were bothering her.

“I’ve got to sit down for a bit, my feet are killing me”, she yelled at her friend Ruby. “You carry on, don’t worry about me”.

Weaving her way to the edge of the dancefloor, she spied an empty barstool and dropped down onto it. “Thank fuck.”

She gingerly surveyed the plaster on her heel, before reaching down to try and remove the offending shoe. It took only a split second before she realised that the shoe refused to budge. Wincing, she pulled harder. Still no luck. The shoe seemed wedded to her foot. No amount of pulling wanted to move it.

She could feel the happy alcoholic haze she had been floating into up until now dissipating and being replaced by a strange cold fear. Even the music and lights seemed duller, fading in proportion to the strange panic rising through her entire body. Serenity gasped as her throat constricted and her body grew limp.

A voice seemed to come from the cloudy depths from her mind. A male voice, deep, soothing, yet also with an unmistakeable sinister undertone.

“Do you know pain, Serenity? Have you ever really experienced it? Do you know what it’s like to feel that pain with every step you take? You never have, have you? You don’t know what it’s like to feel like you have razor blades slicing at your heart with every breath you take. You’ve never given a fuck for all the hearts you’ve tossed aside without thinking. All those one night stands. All those faceless men. Think about them, Serenity. Do you even remember them? Do you remember me? From now on you’ll remember me every waking moment. Your precious heels will remind you of me and the pain you caused me until you understand.”

The voice faded and the nightclub slowly came back into focus, the lights and music now mimicking the pounding rhythm of Serenity’s beating heart.

“Ren? You ok Ren? You look like you’ve seen a ghost”

Blinking, Serenity realised the voice talking to her had changed, and was that of her friend Helen.

“Oh my God, Ren, what’s happened to your feet? Is that blood?”

It took all Serenity’s effort to focus on her friend and stammer her excuses. “Sorry, Helen, I don’t feel well, I need to go home. Don’t worry about me, I’ll get a cab.”

With that, she rushed out of the nightclub and into the fresh night air, gulping furiously in an effort to bring life back into her lungs. Smiling half-heartedly at the doorman, she said “Tony, call me a cab would you, please?”

Once in the cab, Serenity struggled to hold back the tears as the throbbing in her feet was all she could focus on. Once back in her apartment, she swallowed a couple of painkillers, stripped off her clothes and collapsed in a heap on the bed, shoes still stubbornly attached to her feet.

It took a while for the pain relief to kick in, but finally, she slipped into a deep sleep.

TO BE CONTINUED.